Do you know why forgiveness is like a unicorn? Because it’s rare and magical. But when you find it, it can bring so much joy and peace into your life.
Let me tell you about my client, Naseema. She and her dad had a huge falling out a few years ago, and ever since then, they hadn’t spoken.
Naseema was filled with anger and resentment towards her dad and couldn’t imagine ever forgiving him.
She came to me and realized that holding onto that anger was only hurting her.
It was like carrying a heavy weight around with her all the time.
Forgiveness is not just about the other person.
It’s about letting go of the anger and hurt that have been holding YOU back.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: forgiveness is easier said than done. And you’re right.
Forgiveness is a process. It takes time, patience, and self-compassion. But with the right tools, it can be easier and accelerated.
The key to forgiveness:
Before you can forgive, it’s important to acknowledge the emotions you’re feeling, whether it’s anger, hurt, betrayal, or something else.
Give yourself permission to feel these emotions and validate them as a normal response to the situation.
Identify what needs forgiveness:
It’s important to be clear about what needs forgiveness.
What was the action or behaviour that hurt you?
Who was responsible for it?
What do you actually need to be able to forgive?
Most people will say, “I want him/her to appologize to me!!”
But do you really need their apology?
No, you do not.
An apology can provide closure and a sense of validation, but it’s important to remember that closure ultimately comes from within, and forgiveness is a CHOICE!
Be specific and clear about what it is that you’re forgiving.
Then focus on understanding the other person’s perspective and finding empathy for them, even if you don’t agree with their actions.
Once you can see things from their point of view, it becomes easier to let go of the anger and hurt.
You can do this by yourself, but it might take time or I can help and guide you through the forgiveness process during our session, where we will heal and release those emotions. Immediately, you will feel like a new person.
Most of the time, people act out of their trauma, as a trauma response. They have been hurt and are unconsciously passing on the pain.
They are not really aware that they are hurting you. Hurt people hurt people.
They are human and make mistakes, just like you.
If you don’t forgive, all that heaviness gets passed on to your loved ones, especially to your spouse and children.
And I know you definitely don’t want that.
And here’s the thing: forgiving someone doesn’t mean you’re agreeing with their actions or saying that what they did was okay.
It just means you’re choosing to let go of the negative emotions that are holding you back.
You can write a letter to the person you want to forgive. You don’t have to send it, but the act of writing it down can help you process your emotions and clarify your thoughts.
Be honest and direct, but also express your willingness to forgive and move on.
Forgiveness means letting go of resentment and the desire for revenge.
This doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or pretending that it didn’t hurt, but it does mean choosing to release the negative emotions that are holding you back.
Forgiving others can be a difficult and painful process, so it’s important to practice self-compassion and kindness towards yourself.
Be patient with yourself.
When you can find forgiveness and let go of the past, you open yourself up to a world of new possibilities and experiences.
You can find joy and happiness in unexpected places and create the life you’ve always dreamed of.
So, Naseema went through the healing process, and she was able to reach out to her dad and have an honest conversation about what had happened.
They talked for hours and finally started to understand each other’s perspectives, and everything began to make more sense.
Their relationship improved significantly after that conversation because she did not carry any negative emotion, and they were able to rebuild their trust and deepen their connection.
If you too have had enough of feeling consumed by anger and resentment from not being able to forgive, and you’re ready to experience the power of forgiveness, love, and joy, Send me a message > or directly book a session with me.
Most of my clients needed only one session to forgive and finally move on, feel lighter and peaceful.
If you want me to be sure that I can truly help you, check out testimonials from my clients here and witness the miracles that happened in their lives.
Let’s all be like unicorns and choose forgiveness today!
Andrea Khadijah